La Cucina Futurista

I have long wanted to read La Cucina Futurista, or The Futurist Cookbook but second-hand copies are selling for upwards of £50, and the Italian edition is over £30 new, which is a lot of money to pay for a few absurdist giggles. Fortunately there are some recipes going the rounds on the internet:

Aerofood: A signature Futurist dish, with a strong tactile element. Pieces of olive, fennel, and kumquat are eaten with the right hand while the left hand caresses various swatches of sandpaper, velvet, and silk. At the same time, the diner is blasted with a giant fan (preferably an airplane propeller) and nimble waiters spray him with the scent of carnation, all to the strains of a Wagner opera. (“Astonishing results,” Marinetti says. “Test them and see.”)

Taste Buds Take Off: A soup of concentrated meat stock, champagne, and grappa, garnished with rose petals — “a masterpiece of brothy lyricism.”

Italian Breasts in the Sunshine: Two half spheres of almond paste, with a fresh strawberry at the center of each, sprinkled with black pepper.

Chicken Fiat: A chicken is roasted with a handful of ball bearings inside. “When the flesh has fully absorbed the flavor of the mild steel balls, the chicken is served with a garnish of whipped cream.”

Beautiful Nude Food Portrait: A crystal bowl filled with fresh milk and the flesh of two boiled capons, all scattered with violet petals.

Equator + North Pole: “An equatorial sea of golden poached egg yolks” surrounds a cone made of whipped egg whites. This is “dotted with orange segments like succulent pieces of the sun” and black truffle carved to look like airplanes.

The Excited Pig: A “whole salami, skinned” is cooked in strong espresso coffee and flavored with eau-de-cologne.

Candied Atmospheric Electricities: Brilliantly-colored bars of marbled soap, filled with sweet cream.

Diabolical Roses: Red roses, battered and deep-fried.

Simultaneous Ice-Cream: Vanilla dairy cream and little squares of raw onion frozen together.

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