Archive for Food
I have long wanted to read La Cucina Futurista, or The Futurist Cookbook but second-hand copies are selling for upwards of £50, and the Italian edition is over £30 new, which is a lot of money to pay for a few absurdist giggles. Fortunately there are some recipes going the rounds on the internet:
Aerofood: A signature Futurist dish, with a strong tactile element. Pieces of olive, fennel, and kumquat are eaten with the right hand while the left hand caresses various swatches of sandpaper, velvet, and silk. At the same time, the diner is blasted with a giant fan (preferably an airplane propeller) and nimble waiters spray him with the scent of carnation, all to the strains of a Wagner opera. (“Astonishing results,” Marinetti says. “Test them and see.”)
Taste Buds Take Off: A soup of concentrated meat stock, champagne, and grappa, garnished with rose petals — “a masterpiece of brothy lyricism.”
Italian Breasts in the Sunshine: Two half spheres of almond paste, with a fresh strawberry at the center of each, sprinkled with black pepper.
Chicken Fiat: A chicken is roasted with a handful of ball bearings inside. “When the flesh has fully absorbed the flavor of the mild steel balls, the chicken is served with a garnish of whipped cream.”
Beautiful Nude Food Portrait: A crystal bowl filled with fresh milk and the flesh of two boiled capons, all scattered with violet petals.
Equator + North Pole: “An equatorial sea of golden poached egg yolks” surrounds a cone made of whipped egg whites. This is “dotted with orange segments like succulent pieces of the sun” and black truffle carved to look like airplanes.
The Excited Pig: A “whole salami, skinned” is cooked in strong espresso coffee and flavored with eau-de-cologne.
Candied Atmospheric Electricities: Brilliantly-colored bars of marbled soap, filled with sweet cream.
Diabolical Roses: Red roses, battered and deep-fried.
Simultaneous Ice-Cream: Vanilla dairy cream and little squares of raw onion frozen together.
–A few moaguie cats
Wait until two moons have risen and set in an aerial solution peppered with
–bird song (without feathers) – not too distant
Wait again until a few moaguie cats are attendant upon the lunar declivities. When they have surrounded the planet (whiskers in the light).
Cook the steaks in the remaining lunar juice. Until all becomes opaque with a few silhouettes here and there. WITHOUT WALLS.
Feed to the moaguie cats. See that they eat it.
Spoon whipped cream into any remaining corners around their grin.
–Recipe by C. C. Leport
La Belle Chaurienne brand Cassoulet is available at a reasonable price from any well-stocked French supermarché. It is definitely one of the best meals in a can available on the planet. Inside each robust, silvery cylinder (I can imagine French troglodytes fighting over them in the ruins of some post-apocalypse Carrefour) are two sausages, two duck legs and enough fatty, beany goodness for a couple of happy lovers, or one lonely hog, as the case may be. Just dump the contents in a casserole and pop it in a moderate oven. Half an hour later enjoy the authentic taste of Castelnaudary. Best served with some good bread and a gutsy red. Tonight I’m drinking Castillo de Calatrava 2001 Reserva Tempranillo, a snip at £3.99 from participating Sainsbury’s stores.